Tired, sleepy, fatigue, exhausted, weary and still alive..

Ugh.. Tired and sleepy today, almost fell asleep during assembly, can't blame me, it was just as boring as any other mondays.. Teachers giving plenty of work despite moans and objection.. Aikzz lerr.. lets see.. got karangan , Bm tuition homework, chemistry graphs and latihan to finish, English paper to fill in, add maths to do..etc etc.. I should be gettin back to work now..

For moral kerja amal, which I have yet to start, jian and kelvin have already begun their kerja amal by following delta.. I really don't know what the rest of us are gonna do.. Zurah havent given us any sort of instructions at all..

Anywayz, there's something weird I don't really understand.. Yesterday I could have sworn that my parents are yelling at each other.. And today.. they're like.. nothing's happen.. haizz ler.. they yell and shout, yet gain nothing.. well things seem to be fine suddenly and I don't want to ask why..

Other than that, I've decided to push my luck a little, hopefully not too far. I try to see sylvanas as often as possible, during breaks, between classes.. My actions are somehow overly observed by other ppl.. *kacau.. =p Actually, even if I do see her.. I don't have much to say dah.. its like.. we're so distant already, i don't think we said more than 10 words the whole of last year..
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Grains of sand pours down,
Times of silence has once again come between us,
I love everything about u yet it seem so odd,
My knowledge seem to be fading in time,

Once close, once before this,
Sweet memories, a great past,
Left is now nothing but memories,
Left to crumble without you,

Hopes have faded over time,
yet I still long, deep down, deep dark,
I still long for you,
regardless of time and space,
through ages past and heavens future,
I will always love you,
Sylvan.

Pouring out my heart..

Yep, its me again.. I seem to be very free these days, blogging day after day.. This time I wanna pour our my heart, upside down, inside out.. I can't help it.. I feel so kept in.. I just wanna burst out with all the feelings I can muster.. Ahh, what am I crappinz bout.. love..
Yep, I'm in love all over again.. What a fool eh.. Its been a year..
January 30th 2004.. I felt exactly the same a year ago.. I loved you then, and still love you now.. Its not mutual.. I know then it wasn't mutual then, and I'm quite sure it isin't now.. I should just live on.. I should, but I can't.. I just can't.. Why?? because I love you.. simply that..

I love you sylvanas..

Monya!!

Haha.. as usual, we had nothing to do during IT *literally*.. so we surf the net aimlessly and came across this website through jonathan's website.. MONYA!! so check it out! seriously.. see the first 3 from the bottom.. its the first 3 episodes.. its like this animation.. and a damn funni wan too! haha.. We laughed till our stomach ached..

Besides that, we had our second sports practice today and I forgot to bring shirt!! aaa!! and then prav put my name into march past...unknowingly!! aaa!!

well.. soon almost every blue house came to know of my name and who I was literally.. Aikz.. Neway, in the end also I had to join, mainly cuz of prav lerr.. I mean, we've been frenz since std 1.. Then cuz its our last year.. and I want to see blue house win too.. Newayz, I think i'd be those behind, cuz I'm one of the tallest there.. and the other is I mite be the one holding the flag.. Not that bad in the end I guess.. I've only marched once, and that's in scouts in form 1 and 2..
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Your smile, your laughter,
your simple ways and company,
filled my heart with great joys,
with feelings no words can describe,

I enjoyed our brief time together,
I enjoyed every second I came close,
I believe you know now,
I know you do,
yet you have showed nothing..

I treasure our friendship,
I treasure the sweet memories we had,
I treasure everything we hold in common,
I treasure you..

The heart does things for reason that reason itself cannot explain..

Ahh.. the beauty of holidays, sleep any time you want, wake up any time you want.. so unlike school days.. Unfortunately our teachers gave plenty of hw to keep us busy, and I spent an entire day yesterday to finish up all but chemistry homework.. Duno Y i juz don't like to do her work.. Newayz, I must seriously consider getting an add maths tuition soon, this year.. kenot afford to lose time dah..

I found myself staring at a picture sylvanas and me took before. I really wonder why I juz feel this way. I know you won't accept me, yet I can't stop. I treasure our memories beyond anything else.. I know I have little of them, but its all I have.. All I want is to know.. Sylvanas, ... to know..
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Tell me, sylvanas,
I want to know,
your feelings, your thoughts,
your heart's desires.

We're always meters apart,
yet miles beyond sight,
Be it in the times,
when we'll never see each other again,
The tides of sands are running out.

I just want to know,
if you feel what I feel,
if you share my heart's only desire,
because I love you.. now, and ever..

Sheesh..

Somehow that turned out to be my favourite word now; " sheesh! ". Hahaha.. Don't ask me why.. Had a nizeee but boring longer than usual weekend, and I don't look forward to be going to school tmr, have assembly on the rock-hard, ass-flattening seats which chew can see us so damn clearly! Aikz.. Newayz, still have tuesday off! Tmr gotta see Junaidah, to apply for librarion'ship.. n' then chong to try to change club.. By the way, I uploaded last year's Japan Nukata photos.. Have a look!! 220 pictures.. whew.. stupid streamyx kept on disconnecting.. Thats bout all i think..
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This is a quote I got from the shoulder man.. Its quite good..

If you allow pleasure and pain to control you, you won't have control in life,
whereas if you get pleasure and pain to work for you, you have a very firm grip in life.

Silent times..

I've nothing reli much to post, since I posted just yesterday.. so I'll continue with my jumbled rhymeless words..
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Times of silence passes by,
meaningless and unworthy,
without a single purpose or goal,
Life itself has lost its gleam,

Where once stood laughter and smiles,
lies only silence and frowns,
where once stood happiness and joys,
lies only sadness and depression,

Aimless wandering through time,
with only you in my thoughts,
how much I'd longed,
but never will get,

I am before weaker by heart,
stronger by the mask,
Unknown to all but a few,
few that I'd trust with my life,

Let it be known now,
for now, for ever,
in storms or haven,
I've fallen in love with you, again..
What a fool I am..

Regret..

I regret regret regret!! for something I should have done but never did!! ahh.. I hate myself for never doing it, and will hate myself even if I do it.. *sigh*.. Anywayz, schooL life is boring, day after day pass by without much happening.. That also equals to nothing ever happening, which means that there's nothing much to blog these days.. and also i know my 'poems' suck big time, but bear with it lorr.. its how i feel at times, and I just put them into jumbled rhymelss words..



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Heart beats as hopes are flying,
All sounds are lost,
in a mind filled with nothin but love,
Inch by inch I slip closer,
where I long so much to hold you,
yet never to reach u in the end,

Filled with despair and regret,
as I slowly bid my farewells,
where the sky I looked in sadness,
I stopped to look back,
at the past,
where I should have done something,
but never did..
never did..

fed up!!

AHhhhHHHH!! I'm so fed up with my brother.. stupid him!! My parents always are on his side, for god knows what reason.. Everything I do, he has to follow.. Everything I start doing, he'll just jab in and think he's some almightly fello.. and what makes things worse is that my parents will always support him, regardless of what he's doing is right.. It's always this, I'm wrong, he's right. SO BE IT!!

*sigh.. on a more cheerful note, i went to burger king today with kelvin, BoBBIE, and the rest lerr.. then to check out any new games (sadly none), then went looking for sylvanas.. I could never find where she is these days.. and even if I do, I can't get anywhere 10 meters near her also.. aikz! haha.. 3 friends and I, started this fanfiction thing, but it doesn't seem to have a good start.. all 4 of us got different writing styles, different ideas.. haha.. i guess i ought to quit dah.. i'm no good at this.. well that's all for now.

a day like any other..

Haiz.. Another day at school, nothing more interesting than the others.. The first 2 periods in the morning we had a sports meeting to elect a president and other post for blue house.. as expected, Prav became the new president, and randy as vice.. Break time was damn hectic, as the canteen was filled with the entire school. I can't seem to enter the canteen at all.. Beside that, time during the physics seem to be ever slower than each time.. Now its IT, and we're all in the lab.. instead of doing work, I seem to be blogging.. Oh yeah.. Today is allie's birthdaY.. gave her a present, nothing fancy.. Yesterday I just changed my browser to firefox, and had some problems with embedded music.. Well I've fixed it now, shouldn't be a problem..
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Beyond sight lies something beyond knowledge,
Known to all but a few,
From afar, through near distances,
Silently watching what is meant to be none.
Left to fall if not in doubt,
My voice unheard amongst all,
I know not of letting go,
just not yet,
for it is not the time,
Let it be known now,
that I stand only for you,
for now, for ever..

Ugh.. not feeling great..

Its just a start of a new week and I'm feeling terrible already.. I'm not sure what's gotten into me.. Muz be some new wabak.. Yesterday got sore throat and cough, today got sore throat and fever.. So unfortunate.. Lagi got work to do, kenot rest.. aikz.. *hic* hmm.. this coming wednesday ar.. miss double physics, then got double IT, then got PE, then Cocuriculum.. chun lehh! ahh.. i gotta get back to my work..

Computer upgrades.. really happy..

Ahh, finally got my computer upgrades.. I spent exactly 350 bucks this time, buying RAM, DVD ROM drive, Sound Card, Extra ventilation fan, and extension power cable.. whew.. Been wanting to buy these for years.. finally got it.. happi!! haha.. Nothing much other than that today..

P.E running..away from us!

What's this larh!! Stupid timetable change.. Our P.E lessons are running away from us! First it was supposed to be today. Yesterday the timetable changed and moved it next week monday and tuesday.. And this morning change again, moving it to Friday and Wednesday!!! ahh!! Soo unfortunate larr we all... haizz.. anyway, I hear the form 1s are forced to take both civics and moral.. I pity them leH.. kesian kesian.. hahaha... well.. I ought to be studying, but I'm plain too lazy right now.. I dunno why, my left knee also hurts banyak banyak.. then allie ask me to skating pyramid tmr..I want to go.. but KenoT lerr ~ =( sad sadd.. kaka...

I want my Bio back!!

ahhh.. stupid timetable change.. Not only did that the Bio period which I would have free period is today, P.E which is tomoro also takda dah!! ahh!! And I hear next week got another change!! Now P.E is on monday and tuesday first period.. Nizeeee leh.. dun want it to change.. Oh yeah, monitor is ajay, asst is dianne.. kinda fine cuz i hav high respects for them, ajay n' gang.. =p A few of us are gonna do up the backboard, and I teamed up with Jonni boI to do IT section.. Its the fourth day now, and nothing's reli up.. nothing.. aiyaya.. shanta seems quite alright at the moment.. our english class was ok, and she actually taught something, as opposed to our other teachers.. well, there's all for now..

our time table..used to, i mean..

Feeling funny.. beyond words..

The first day of school turned out quite boring.. I mean, our class teacher Shanta, didn't come, we didn't elect a new monitor, nor did much studying.. Sit, lie around.. chat.. well, the second, we had more work.. Though we had a lot of new teachers this year, and it seems we're one of the rare classes that this happens.. Brought mahjong cards but sadly didn't have a chance to play it.. Tmr's wednesday.. Gotta pick a dumb cocuriculum club... 2 CoCuriculum clubs summore.. sigh.. think i'm taking music, again, and maybe volleyball.. Yes volleyball.. Why is everyone asking me.. ," huh?? u taking volleyball??" .. aikz.. if its not volleyball then its computer club.. dun wan lerr.. that day adi got double period of IT.. go gila nanti.. sigh... AHHHHH...

Besides that.. I got this really funny feeling.. I don't know why.. I just can't settle down.. Something (other than the cocuriculum stuff) is really keeping me kinda tensed up.. Ahhhh.. Its a feeling I can't describe with words.. Whatever I'm feeling.. Juz hope it goes away..

School countdown

I'm not too sure whether I'm looking forward to next year, or not.. Hell.. we have to have Shanta as our class teacher, of all the teachers.. *grumble grumble* and Chew will be giving us a hard time with the lockers.. But one thing's for sure.. He is NOT going to touch any of our lockers.. Damn larr.. he's just too free.. or maybe Merican's losing his precious money cuz his bloody lockers are so expensive and old.. Hate that old money minded bas***d... sigh.. anyway.. I guess Im looking forward to school.. and not looking forward to shanta.. well.. its just 1 more day.... *drums rolling*....