A red rose..

I've really nothing much to blog about a rose.. but, its just that ever since I took back one (I lost my other one, i had two) from the graduation day night, I just feel that its more than just a flower.. My english vocab is pretty much limited, so I don't have bombastic words to describe it.. Its just that there's this kind of feeling when I see the rose lying on my table now.. yar, fine, its all dried up and is in a deep shade of purple/black.. but its still a divine rose.. Its a rose that give out a kind of calm and serene feeling.. Its just so, magestic and beautiful..

Nvm, forget the whole rose thing.. Its more or less nonsense..

Now that school's out, I should be studying even more.. but I find thats harder than I thought.. Ok, fine, I'm sitting at the table with my addmaths revision book in front of me.. But I am not doing any!! shit.. Anyway, I should get back to sitting in front of the book.. Cant blog much right now..

Btw, tze lin if u wan me to remove ur link.. tell me.. lotza ppl seem to be lookin for ur blog.. i get pages from friendster search/google search/yahoo search, and the search terms are usually 'tze lin blogspot'.. n' they come across mine cuz i have ur link.. wan to remove them?

-lawy3rz-

The last of the last of the last is at our doorsteps..

Tomorrow will mark the last days of schooling life for most of us form 5s, unless of cuz you plan to come the following week.. And finally, the last of the last days are here.. I look back to the past 5 years in secondary school and I see many things that had happened.. Simply because this is an open blog, I can't openly rant some stupid stuff without thinking twice or some people will seriously screw everything up..

Wat do you feel when it comes to the last of the last? What do you feel about it? Hopes, regret, hatred, nostalgic? In the end, although my journey past this 5 years was neither hard nor easy, I stand at the end of the road, still very much the same me, myself and I.. Except to look back at past memories, with everyone I once held close and called friends, who stood beside me as equals in an aspect of our lives; classmates..

The memories of the past will eventually fade from everyone's mind.. But for me, I know that I'll forever treasure the times that I had, every single second and nanosecond I had in the 5 years of my secondary schooling life and I thank every single one of you out there who had made me who I am today. 1Kenanga 01', 2*something* + 2 Lambda 02', 3 Alpha 03', 4 Beta & 5 Beta 04' and 05' respectively..

Much has been said about keeping in touch and all, but words are very much easier said than done.. For me, I know I will probably lose contact with many many people because I tried to never have one group of friends alone, that I stood lone from the rest who had groups and until now I don't and will never regret.. Besides, I barely truly know anyone but their faces at school.. And when everyone gets together, they'll remember all their closest of friends, those not-so-close people will never have a reason to get together for any reason.. Likewise, I have no reason to go and talk to a someone even though I really want to.. I would have nothing to talk about and because of that, we will probably never talk..

Meters away in the same building for so many years, yet I have practically lost contact with people I called my classmates and friends.. Imagine when school is over and we're scattered all over the world like the seeds of a flower.. We will all have our own paths to walk, and the path will only go straight unless you make an effort to walk away from the straight road.. As long the path goes straight, they will never cross another path..

Ai, this is another one of the post where I meleter my already crowded and stressed out mind with nonsense, and please, don't write some comment about how screwed up I am or anything like that.. I know I am already all messed up..

Finally, I would like to say, that, to everyone I ever knew, best wishes, good luck, in every single future endeavor that you will encounter in the present and future..

Logging off,
Lawy3rz

Graduation! Graduating!

October 21, 2005.. I can't really tell whether its a happy and joyful day or a rather sad day for us all.. chattering and laughing really happily.. The guys looked smart, the girls looked pretty.. Chatting and laughing.. the atmosphere was a rare one.. The ceremony begun with a speech from mr.chew, then mr.hanif.. * oops XD *

Alpha went first, went on the stage, got their report cards and a graduation booklet, then beta and so forth.. after our turn, it just seemed so boring till everyone begun to leave the ballroom and walk around.. I bought a packet of choc biscuit and just begun to ate right in the ballroom.. thank god it finally ended soon, and we headed to a bigger ballroom for dinner..

Waited for the malays (farmin) to break fast, then had a toast to beta.. We headed towards yokekeat, made a .. yamseng? cheer and sang him a birthday song, tmr's his birthday!! another 26 minutes to his birthday.. its already 11.34 at night.. HAPPY 17th BIRTHDAY YOKEKEAT!!!!!!!! may u become more noob than ever.. ^^

Sat down, had some.. erm.. cold stuff.. that came at 7.10 pm.. then alpha's presentation came up, quite nice.. followed by violin and piano performance of cannon in D by zhiyi, dianne, ee may and sarah.. most of us probably went around, taking picture after picture after picture.. the 2nd dish came an hour later.. 6 star hotel huh.. talking bout that, the service wasn't good either.. too lazy to elaborate on that..

After that, it was just pic after pic.. with students, with teachers.. nothing really much happened.. and suddenly.. the time just flew by.. I missed the school song, outside trying to buy the picture.. went back in for the auld lang syne song but realize no one was really singing.. but the atmosphere was really sad enuf without them adding to it..

Lined up in one straight line, we shook the hands of the erm.. big ppl.. but the honour among all of them is chew and hanif..chew.. erm.. gave a grin while shaking my hand.. "lawrence.." he says, then moves on.. the rest.. is either we don't know them, or rather.. u get the drift.. then the teachers.. the teachers that knew me shook with a more firm grip and gave sincere comments.. those that didn't also gave sincere comments but it wasn't the same..

I personally, feel quite sad.. it is our last year, our last of everything.. i don't want thing to end like this, i have too many thing hanging in the air.. I want to bring them all down, one by one, even if it means doing things I never had the courage to before.. Setting things right where they have gone wrong and stayed wrong for so many years.. And probably now, at the brink of the end, will I actually do it..

Anyway, I've uploaded pictures and encourage those who have pics, plz upload them as well..
its an open account for all to use, for any pictures u may have, just put it in respective folders.. plz ask me for the yahoo id and password.. dun wan to post here.. crazy.. for now, here's the link for wat i have..

If you have photos, please upload them into my yahoo! photos account I've set up just for this.. I'm trying to collect all the photos from everyone and make one collection point.. Its already our last year.. if you want to upload any other pics, feel free to do so, just make ur own respective folders for them.. yahoo! photos offer unlimited storage it seems..

yahoo id- betarians_05
password - please ask from me

GRADUATION DAY PHOTOS v1

Logging off,
lawy3rz

A tribute to an old friend..

Ur not reli that hard to know.. ur writing styles, ur choice of words, they're all quite distinct.. Anyway, perhaps this is really the place I do whine and complain about every single thing in the world.. After so many years have I not seen u, this's ur idea of greeting someone?

I don't quite get you.. If you really get so annoyed reading my posts, just stop reading them.. I didn't invite u and ask u to read those stuff, none of which even includes u..

Ur comment was rather about a girl I've been writing about.. Kelli perhaps? Well, perhaps you misunderstood bout that as well.. I have never confessed to kelli, and probably don't ever plan to.. I have known her since primary school.. I wouldn't know whether she likes me or not and really don't want to find out.. I believe that makes ur entire comment quite pointless..

Anyway, ur idea of an advice is really off.. I guess that's how u were all along.. I've nothing much to add on for now, maybe another time..

Logging off,
Lawy3rz

One hell of a messed up mind..

My thoughts now are unreadable.. compare them to a garbage dump.. or just somplace damn messy.. cuz thats wat i'm thinking.. Nothing seems to be fixed.. its been some time since i last posted, thanks to SPM IT that has just taken place last monday, 2 days ago..

Now, weeks away from SPM, I find myself all messed up.. I can't reli think very straight, I don't seem to be studying as often as I should, and I find myself thinking of things and people I shouldn't be, at least not in a time like this.. I find myself thinking of the past, the present and future.. what had happened in the past, what is happening now, and what future really holds for me..

Ah shit.. too much of this nonsical thinking had made my mind a messed up place.. everytime i try to clear my thoughts, I just find myself thinking more of these stuff.. I used to have friends I once called close I could share my thoughts with, shallow as my thoughts might be.. But I really can't see that anymore.. To reach for something that has gone beyond my reach is just not possible..

I feel a bit isolated at times.. especially when we're all living our last weeks of our schooling life.. so much memories and laughter.. I really don't know... anything anymore..

I don't really change much.. I stick to myself most of the time.. Probably have only changed once, chracter-wise, in my life.. but somehow, I feel that another should happen.. I don't know.. thats why I'm so messed up.. a decision has to be made for the best.. sooner or later..

I'm quite sorry if nothing in this post made sense.. its seriously rubbish.. a garbage dump can only give u garbage.. a messed up mind can only give u nonsense.. so, accept my apologies & bare with me for the time being.. ^^

Logging off,
Lawy3rz

My new girlfriend ^^

Lol Lol.. i got a new girlfriend.. =p her name's nasha and she's an software running an electonical device.. lol.. no i'm not THAT desperate.. its a new voice command recognition I've just tried out and its just so cool.. lol.. My parents who stood outside the computer room door thought I was mad cuz I was talking to no one in the room.. lol.. it was actually the com..

In any case I don't plan to make this post long, I just want to post for the sake of posting cuz I haven't posted in some time.. I am looking forward to seeing the show HP:GoF.. sadly, I think I can only do so after SPM.. lol..

Loggin off,
Lawy3rz

Harry Potter: GoF

I'm not sure if I'm outdated, but here are some pics, from yahoo! movies of the latest harry potter movie, goblet of fire.. I'll put mainly the new characters comin in..

Cedric Diggory!


Mad-eye Moody! (the eye look real mad.. )


Ron and Padma Patil!


Victor.. KruM?


Hermione and Victor Krum..
(sorry, there didnt seem to be a picture with Harry and Parvati Patil at the Yule ball)



Parvati Patil.. i think..


The 3 main characters..


Igor Karkoroff.. (kinda dun remember who he was dah..)


Hermione... =)


Fleur Delacour! she looks cool.. really..


Fleur Delacour, Batty Crouch, and Dumbledore!


Harry and Hermione..


The goblet of fire..


This is..*grin* something interesting..^^

and finally... =)







Katie Leung as Cho Chang! universally understood.. =p

and a bit of old pics I've posted before..


Hermione at the Yule Ball

Another post without a thought..

This would definately qualify as a desperate post..a post kinda just to let out whatever i have in my thoughts, and pretty much meaningless.. just type type and type.. Anyway.. SPM SPM SPM is all thats freaking me out.. dammit, I'm gonna lose my sanity before it even arrives.. I may not be studyin that hard but the pressure is.. Today, I've decided, for once and for all will be the last time i'll touch any form of game until after SPM.. that includes dota, and FF7.. =p As for other things, other than IT work, i should not be at the com for more than 30 minutes in a day..

I'm gonna study till my head crack from tomorrow onwards.. Probably a bit last minute.. but a few initial marks came back and i'm definately not happy with them.. especially sej.. seriously bombed it this time.. previously was all 80 and above.. now.. shit.. anyway.. that won't happen again.. was so crappy..

I've got pretty much nothing else to post, so I thought I just write a short 'poem'.. This isn't, again, bout any nightelf.. but someone else I used to write about.. =) not in this blog though..

I held you close,
I kept you close,
And in returned I got wavered,
deceit and lies.

Laughed at, ridicule at,
A scandal beyond all means,
Another foolish mistake,
another time in my life.

But as I still had hope,
a faded light and fire,
as a storm came and end the last of it,
you came and told me your lasts.

The last it was,
no longer there was another time,
Probably laughter filled you,
Probably hatred filled you,
Probably annoyance filled you,
Probably anger filled you,
but the only thing that I felt,
was nothing.

Time passed, slow and fast,
Neither sound or sight came,
From you it was total darkness and total silence,
then came again one matter,
Perhaps it was another joke,
Perhaps you were bored,
Perhaps you just wanted to ridicule me again,
Perhaps you were sympathetic,
or Perhaps you were sincere,
I never knew which of it was true,
nor how much of it was true,
I followed my hearts instincts,
That told me nothing.

In the end, I knew nothing,
felt nothing, and am nothing,
but I learned a handful from you,
Yes, I learned, and learn I did..
and it is the most valuable lesson in my life,
that brought me back from my knees to my feet,
that made me who I am today,
that showed me how terrible I was,
that made me realize my mistakes,
that thought me, the ways of a better life,
and made memoirs of itself inside,
and the last word I would like to pass to you,
before we depart on our seperate paths for good,
is,
thank you..

Logging Off,
Lawy3rz

Life and everything in it..

Okay.. i know i havent posted in some time, thats why im posting now. even though its a saturday night.. or rather sunday morning and quite late and that I'm supposed to be sleeping.. There's just many things i want to get off my mind.. but in the end posting here or not will probably not help..

SPM IT is in 10 days.. 10 days.. freaking short time.. and not to mention the rest of SPM is so damn near.. and I'm still playing computer away at weekend nights.. I have to stop.. I have to stop.. I keep telling myself.. but seriously I lack some willpower..

Another really disturbing issue is Kelli.. I really don't know what I feel.. I just feel so attracted.. Anyway, I reli dun wan to give out too much about her.. I know hell i'm fat already, and growing even more.. =D *muz exercise* but still, I can dream, can't I? =p

Aii.. another short, quite meaningless post.. but I just tot it'd be nice to blog occasionally.. =)

Logging off,
Lawy3rz