Tomoro got test, the day after got test, next week got test, the week after got assignment dued..

Haiz.. i've never been so messed up in my life.. exams there and here, assignments dued there and here.. even with a proper planner, I've lost my sense of time.. watever happened to the 2 months one exam rule we had in secondary school? Now, its exams and assignment week after week!!! I just finished one hell of a assignment filled week, and thought this weekend would be one long awaited relaxing weekend.. guess wat? a classmate just msged me asking bout tmr's acc test at 9 in the morning.. and... WHAT ACCOUNT TEST??? I didn't even KNOW bout it.. Even the homework ms yong gave, i havent finish.. I have barely started studyin econs, i think tmr i'm stayin back to study.. duno how ler..

Gonna plan to start another blog soon, or either that, restructure and redecorate this blog.. again.. haha.. yeah i know.. it's just been a month of so since i last changed this blog, fixed bugs display in IE.. that took me a entirely full day.. but i feel like havin a change.. a major one.. gettin bored of the look.. ;)

Ah, i drove my parents round whole day.. see? I got the ultimate satisfaction of proving to my dad that I'm not some armed and dangerous first degree criminal running around lose behind the wheel like my mom said.. ^^ Still gotta learn lotsa stuff though, like how to park.. I dun believe that they dun teach u how to do parking at all in msia.. (yeah sad rite? - for those overseas readin this [There are ppl from all over the world, surprisingly, according to my stat tracker..])

Logging off,
Lawy3rz

AHh.. before i forget..
Announcement: I'm selling away most of my anime's preburned into CDs cuz I'm investing into a DVD drive.. Anyone interested in animes can get them quite cheap from me.. interested? ask from me.. I wud, however, wan to burn them into DVDs first..

anyway, got anythin u nid just ask.. nid money for DVD drive..

Life.. wat do you want out of it?

Once I almost lost my mind while studyin for SPM.. there was this one period of time ler.. I totally went berserk studying.. and when i really cudn't take it.. i told my dad, i'm stoppin this.. i nid some life.. and he at that time got angry and snapped back,"You want to hang out at discos and karoake every night? drink beer and get drunk?" and he left the room.. but I never got a chance to reply..

I want a life..I don't want to go karoakes and get drunk. I want friends to hang out with and laugh.. I want a class to belong to where we have fun during lessons.. I want to meet new people, do new things and live life..

Comparing to things now? everyday's a dull repeitive cycle.. in class as well.. the lecturers arent like teachers in secondary school days.. its cuz of the amount of students they have.. its like.. making stuff in bulk.. losing all the small things that made everyday life in class so fun.. My hours were the same in secondary school, 8 to 3.. then I was barely tired at the end of the day.. we had fun.. in college, i'm dying everyday.. I'm not sure if I'll be fit enuf to come school the next day..

I.. am barely putting up with it, for another 8 months or so.. wat everyone tells me to do.. but why doesnt anyone understand.. for me, its not the destination that matters so much, the journey itself is the destination.. the journey is life and the only destination that we stop travelling on our journey is death.. so the journey is the one that shud be treasured the most..

I dun understand ler.. I'm not doing to well.. in anything.. I.. need a change..

Logging off,
Lawy3rz

After the world changes, taylor's college time table also changes..

What on earth is taylors trying to do with our time tables ler.. Sooooo nicely I had suit myself with the time, with mondays i look forward to having common breaks with some ol' pals from the beta era.. Poof, time changes, venue changes.. all over the place.. the whole thing screwed up all over again.. yep, there are changes for the better like not having to drag our asses all over college as classes are either moved nearer or the next class is the same class as the current one.. but, i'd rather prefer common breaks..

The new intake in march! SAM and A levels intake in march last week during our lovely stressful tiring filled-with-assignments holidays. Only one person I know (think so) went in there, which is the one and only king of noob! yokekeat! common breaks with him on tues, wed and thurs, so it isnt that bad.. can meet him just about anytime.. oh yeah, speaking of time changes.. i finally have someone to drag to eat with me on fridays.. ^^ haha..

Lemme drag on and on about my complaints of the stupid assignments.. IT assignment today.. was a miracle.. two of my group members gave in their article two hours before it was dued in black and white, plus the entire presentation powerpoint slide has not even been touched on.. and guess wat.. within 30 minutes.. me, and two other classmates whom i refuse to mention here to avoid been harassed.. =.=", did the last two articles by scanning it, saving into the word document, wrote a write out on it, printing it in the web, and going out to bind it as well as the powerpoint presentation having done 8 slides.. in just 30 minutes.. that.. was a life saver.. I even came to class on time! wat a miracle..

Outside school, my hopes of gettin my licence today was dashed.. but my driving school told me definately by this week.. i hope they get it before this friday cuz im plannin to stay back after school.. challenge a certain old challenger in table tennis.. :D

besides that, streamyx, yes tmnet streamyx has gone absolutely plain nuts...One moment the entire surfing and downloadin speed is sooooooooo slow.. can sleep in front of the com while the page loads... that was around 2 hours ago... now, its gone plain mad.. its bothering the speed limit for 512kb/s connection(which is super super fast for my connection), which is theorytically IMPOSSIBLE unless they use some kind of alien technology out of the sudden... mad mad mad.. interesting events with msia broadband huh? haha..

so.. today's monday.. tomorrow there's 3 more assignments due.. its 8 pm.. and i havent done a damn thing since i got back.. been lazing around.. But one things for sure, I will do it, and I will finish it on time.. this IS SAM.. i will study, and i will get better grades in my exams.. I will challenge the limit, and I will make my way to the top.. doesnt sound like me? ahha.. who cares..

Logging off,
Lawy3rz

The world changes..

U'd think, that turning 18 this year is just another year in life, just another year with the same ol' stuff u've been doing for the past 17 years.. but, so far, my 3 months into this year, has made my comfortable world change.. There are good, and there are bad, but the bad outweighs the good.. One of the good is that, yep, i can start driving! Another good is that there aren't any more uniforms and plenty of freedom in college.. Yep, two goods in two lines.. Now lets start with the bad..

Obviously, SPM is over, and of all the courses, I took SAM.. as SAM is famous for, non-stop assignments.. Every bloody subjects has one, and all dued on the stupid same day.. And I'll be frank, for someone like me who does things pretty much the last minute kind of thing, this isnt a good thing.. its pretty bad..

Besides assignments, people, and namely parents have begin to have higher expectations of you.. higher? sorry, thats an understatement, MUCH MUCH higher... while that isnt a bad thing, they begin to put pressure on you.. and over time, that CAN amount to quite a significant amount.. And it just gets soooo much worse you didnt get 'straight As' in SPM, when certain people lose confidence in you that you can even pass.. It makes you lose confidence in yourself..

Then there's the other stuff.. Stay in the room and study all day? I don't think you'll come out of mere college still sane.. Clubs! Activities! Language Classes! Piano Classes! A bit of social activities! and guess wat? someone wants to add tuition to the list, as mentioned before, those who has lost confidence in me that I can study on my own, and that I can cope.. Whenever u say u can, they sneer, they turn their heads in disbelief.. it gets to me.. it does.. quietly..

No matter what my parents, or anyone else try to comfort me that I didnt acheive wat i expected to get, the fact is this. As a student.. your academic results matters... As a student, your number of A's matters.. I don't know about the working world yet, but I'm not in it yet.. For slow ppl like me, taking one step at a time is all I can do.. Yes, I can look ahead, but look only, not going there..

I might be disappointed with my results, but its not like I failed anything.. I got 3A1s, 3A2s, 3B3s, and 2Cs.. and i AM going to remark two papers, Information Technology and Moral.. and this is for the money's sake.. I pay RM100 to remark, and if I get them to be 2As, I get roughly RM3000 from various sources.. so, its worth the try..

Being 18, and a student.. is no longer you.. You wanna survive? You cant be yourself.. You need to be what people want you to be and behave like.. I'm growing a dual personality, even from the SPM days.. Whats inside and whats seen outside.. are two different people.. You'd think you know me, but you actually don't.. no one does.. not even my parents.. Its all about what people want and expect of you, and which you urself must meet, no one else.. the only thing that remains yours, is your ambition..

Logging off,
Lawy3rz

SPM

Yeap, SPM results hav been released several days back.. on monday to be exact.. well, I wasnt hysterical bout it.. kinda disappointed actually... didnt meet wat i had expected and some were worse that i had thought..

anyway, its late, i cant blog much rite now..

Logging off,
Lawy3rz

Hu-ah..

Yeahhhhhhhhhh.. its been a looooooong time.. surprisingly a lot of things have been happening, but above all of them.. is my JPJ driving test!!! XD i passed first time shot!!!! wooo hooo~! can't wait to drive man.. and now the one week of waiting for that piece of laminated paper with a letter P on it seems like torture.. =)

Hmmm.. mayb i wont go into detail of that long long hot and tiring day or else i'll bore all of u all to death.. Ahh, speaking of u all, it wasn't until I noticed quite a number of ppl around me began acting somewhat weird towards me only I noticed how many ppl read my blog.. as mysterious ppl.. ahaha... i don't go checkin my statcounter everyday.. what's that? nvm...

Today is also the start of a one week long break, although to many it isnt a damn break cuz homeworks and assignments pile up into the sky.. just nearly every subject has a piling homework and assignments.. talk about college life.. meanwhile, as i hear from former betarians abroad, i cant help but get jealous here... they said their college life was fun, and quite relaxing, quite the opposite of what i've seen of college so far...

Social life isnt any better either.. in terms of clubs, the society of creative arts seem to have gone pretty quiet already.. not that i wud want it to be active at a time like this when im dyin under work pressure.. ping pong club, i havent been for a single club meetin cuz of time restraints, but of that'll change when i get my car.. XD

As for frens in college class, I'm.. somewhat still trying to cling on to what's left of my past, the schooling days... 4 of my 5 schooling days I meet up with Alfred and/or Weiyang.. and obviously we 3 don't spend out lunches with our classmates on those 4 days.. not like I have any to spend with.. 90% of my class are mandarin speakers, and yes, they speak mandarin 90% of the time..

Logging off,
Lawy3rz

Memoirs of the past, v2

The past is haunting me again.. Got a feeling its not so much of how memorably my past was but rather how miserably the current life is.. I defend my use of the term miserably.. Go college, study study study, go makan, study study study, come home dead tired. Do work. Eat dinner. Do work. Sleep. A miserably routine. And within the routine, there isnt anythin i look forward to, but instead looking away from it.

College life reli sucks now.. I can't remember a day in Beta where we didn't laugh our heads off. or made fun of our teachers while they sportingly didnt mind.. (namely GUPTA!!!!).. where we had lunch as a class, shared stuff together.. A sense of belonging there was in beta, even though it was very weak.. We took Beta very much for granted until now, when there isn't anymore beta..

What's so great about college? I'm damn tired and miserable.. My priciples are all screwed up as well.. What am I to do? Should I have shut myself up, kept a low profile and go thru college unknown like I did for the first two months? or shud i open up, be the other side of me? I chose the latter, and now I feel stuck in between the two.. think sandwich and tuna.. reader: huh wat?? forget it.. ahaha..

I once stood alone steadily.. I made my mind up, shud anything happen, I wud stand myself steadily, facing anything.. but now, I'm weaker than I thought.. There isn't a moment I hadn't thought about her.. Though I'm in no position and will never be in one, to ask her out again. Relationship in school was already distant, a blue moon hi bye thing.. College is perhaps the time I have permanently stepped out of her life..

As old fren threads on the line of rememberence,
as past memoirs keep us in check of the future,
as our friendship wobbles from once mighty ones,
as our lives seperate to our own paths,
as the faces we see each day is no longer the same,
as our hopes and dreams begin to differ,
then perhaps, the past will remain the past,
where threading over it brings no change,
where tears is all that is left, shed,
whenever the past is remembered.

The final days of the beta era..

Logging off,
Lawy3rz