A weakening grasp..

Its happening again.. it always happens at the end of every year for as long i can remember..

there are two types of blogs.. one where you either don't care what people think, or another where you watch your steps and words carefully.. this blog started as the first and became the latter..

its just different when people know about your blog, and when they read it, they will just see you in a different light.. all your rants, your complains and whines you normally don't say spilled in a blog draws so much fire, flame and critism from every angle.. what i question is that don't they know that this is one's own blog for thoughts and thinking? i guess its either our society is just like that or that is always the way it has been..

The other type of blog is where you really watch yourself.. words are powerful and keeping them watched closely.. while it just seems safer, it doesn't reflect anything.. it doesn't the real thoughts or truth anymore.. why is it that we are always forced to show our strengths in public.. and keep our weaknesses in the dark.. why is it that we always have to show that we're always doing fine, that the days are always bring and sunny wherelse inside its just rotten and destroyed..

i started a blog originally to become a place where I could hide everything I couldn't show.. I had this naive feeling, I wanted my thoughts to be known, but I never expected the backlash that came with it.. Several times I wished I hadn't started one in the first place..

I've seen my fair share of blogs coming and going.. those who start on the spur of the moment, either eventually abandon the blog out of boredom, and some who are pressured against keeping a blog.. Flaming comments and curses plagues us..

This blog has started on naively on a idealogy that never existed and became the other.. There are so many things that add weights to the mind and heart, and over time they just build up.. How we deal with it differs from one from another..

That was barely the introduction, but the real content will probably never be known.. Again said, thats the power of fear.. whatever that is happening every end of the year, is not this, but something else..

Logging off,
Lawy3rz

Red

Yay! My parents like many other don't let me dye my hair.. but i coloured my hair red today.. >< although, i muz say it sucks cuz i did it in da car.. tmr be a little neater.. ah, forgot a thing, its just temporary colouring.. mom'll kill me if i did dye my hair..

but on the way back, reli hit a bummer.. i didn't account for one thing.. my mom was home... XD.. i muz look like a madman to passing cars, sticking my head under a tap outside at the garden.. and it looked like blood all over the pavement! hahaha.. be a little more careful nex time..

ESL's down, IT's down, and all there's left the three most hardest subjects.. oh im so screwed.. my accounts especially.. since the teacher herself is ... *fill in your words here*..

Never, in my 13 years of schooling have i met a teacher like this.. she can tell you 1+1 = 5 and then the next second say 1+1 = 3.. then she stops for a moment.. "hang on..," she says.. then she looks at the two equations on the board, make some screwed up look and then say, go home and think for yourself.. tadaa, then she totally absolutely drops the entire topic and moves on to a totally unrelated one.. and where are we students at? no where.. i.never.had.believe.such.a.teacher.existed... this is the final internal assesment.. i've reli been trying hard to shuddap, keep quiet and just at most, roll my eyes to my content... now? cant say..

Logging off,
Lawy3rz

The day before the trials..

well, so much for the suspended blog posts... im supposed to be studyin, but since tmr is ESL.. i don't think there's anything to study on ESL.. so here I am bloggin about.. err... nothing?

I dunno.. its that time of the year again where everyone has to decide where to go after this.. I seriously think that schooling days are often said to be the best time of the year is because we get so many years of being together and not worrying about breaking up after a year.. Its those days we live our lives so carefree day after day and knowing the nexy year is just another year where we see each other again..

Universities, Colleges, Courses, Degrees... all damned overrated.. the richest people in the world are uni dropouts, the world's rejects.. but yet they are the richest and most successful people of all time..

Exams are again, here. I don't know why I'm even feeling slightly shaky.. Its just the stupid trials, and I've lost count how many damned exams i've done this entire year.. besides its only 10%.. even mid year was like a walk in the park.. I supposed it isn't the trials thats making me feel this way.. Its the fact that it's the end of the year, that this is the final internal exam before the finals, that this is, the last of everything..

I, pray much for the best.. Since I'm not religious, I pray to everyone and myself, for the best.. Its like.. driving along a road where you can see there's dark clouds ahead.. but you still have to go through them because its the only road to take.. the dark clouds that brings storms.. it'll be the end of another year, the end of college..

Logging off,
Lawy3rz

12th September 2006

LAN! is! finally! over! officially! yeah! to hell with it.. I don't think I flunked it but I doubt its A material either.. who gives a damn?

There seem to be a new break of new bloggers recently.. okay, maybe some of them are new but some are not, i wouldn't know that well.. following reiko-san's japanese name, I went and tried one.. XD it turns out that its like randomly picking names for you.. think this has got to be the .. 100th time now, keep trying until I find one i like XD..

ryuichi seems nice enuf XD.. but then it seems to clash with eugene's au kyoichi.. a character from boys be.. lol, so spin the dice again.. there's one called botak washio.no thanks...

Your Japanese Name Is...

Ryuji Kuro

What's your Japanese Name?

lol end up with the first one with little difference.. ryuji kuro.. XD

Logging off,
Lawy3rz

Peasant and the princess..

Don't you wonder, there are so many shows like beauty and the beast, the hunchback of notredame (or something like that), they're all about ugly guys and pretty gals XD haha.. Of cuz im trying to give out subtle hints here =p.. Sadly, life arent fairy tales and will never end happily like stories..

This the season for the exams, la la la lala, la la la la.. sing it out, lol.. looks ridiculously stupid when reading it.. Thus, the season for exams = short blog posts..

Announcement!
I am seeking ideas for:
1) New blog theme
2) New sidebar image (current one is simca from air gear)
3) Opinion whether music should be reinstated
4) Opinion on whether this blog should change template

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When you have no one to turn to in your time of need, your blog becomes your greatest friend
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Logging off,
Lawy3rz