Hopes and dreams..

Sejarah today was horrible... to be honest, I didn't think it was hard, but I couldn't do it.. Cuz I remembered reading about it, but really can't recall them during the exam hall.. how I am gonna flunk sejarah.. My B.m was nearly equally as horrible.. Sometimes I envy those really smart students at the top.. Mayb they're really hardworking.. I know that I'm not, despite how hard i try to be..

I had a dream the past few nights.. of cuz they varied, but somehow I feel that they're all connected and have one meaning.. my future.. One was about how I got my first job and got promoted damn fast..sounds ridiculous.. but who cares.. my dreams.. =p another was being the top student in college/uni for a rather.. unique reason.. sadly, i'll probably be at the bottom any way.. These are the two I can actually remember clearly.. the rest not so clear already..

So both means my future.. My future? made up of hopes and dreams, all out of my reach, or just fictional.. I feel rather powerless to make them a reality.. maybe I'm just plain lazy.. maybe I just lack simple motivation.. there are a lot of maybe's around.. I've been below average all my life and for once I really long to show the entire world that I can become the best.. words words words.. no actions.. I'm really a stupid guy.. I can't think of an aspect that I've ever succeded.. Sports, academic, watever.. its all the same.. a failure in every aspect..

Not that i'm suicidal or anythin.. its a fact to be seen.. I really long for a change.. and I know that I alone have to make that change.. but more than often, I feel so.. weak and useless to do anythin right.. Hell, tomorrow's add maths and I'm calmly typing my blog here... I guess I do have to cut this post short for the time being..

Logging off,
Lawy3rz

Sorry for the crap after another.. I know its my blog and I post whatever I want to post, but the fact that there are people reading it makes me feel that I should provide some readable material.. lol.. oh who cares..

Lastly some idiot is spamming my comments part with useless nonsense.. i wont exactly call it spam, but its hell annoying..