Ruins..

Aiih... just came back early from trials today ^^.. no accounts exam mar... anyway, i seriously had this thought yesterday that I wanted to blog so much about.. whatever i may type here, and whatever u may think of it, i'm not interested to know..

And oh, before that, chiawei, sorri, for some reason I can't type any more stuff in my chatterbox.. i dunno why.. but my msn link is lawyerz88@hotmail.com.. ^^

I don't reli know how to put this.. its just that sometimes I feel strong, sometimes I feel weak, other times I don't put much thought to it.. and whether I'm strong or weak, I always long for someone I can actually chat anything and everything, as in truly honestly, and sincerely.. I think that's one of the main reasons I started a blog in the first place..

I may feel happy and joyful in school, with so many friends.. but what I actually feel is like talking to a sister.. An elder sister perhaps.. someone to share thoughts with.. i don't know la.. I feel such a spoiled person.. its not like I will die without one, its just that I feel better with someone like that..

And to think I used to be able to chat with people like that, and I had to reli go and ruin everything.. Really lar, I don't think I've spoken much to anyone outside Beta for a long time.. trapped inside like a cocoon.. I don't reli know what i'm typing.. this is one of the post I just type whatever that comes into my mind.. so forgive the crap..

I don't need someone to comfort me, I just need to be heard, whatever my problems may be, whatever my achievements may be, I realize that I did once have these people in my life, once and now gone, and the fault of that lies solely with me.. Perhaps I was a fool, no.. I was, and am one.. To take so many things for granted.. and never realize the meaning they have brought into my lives.. until they are gone..

So now they are gone, and nothing I do, say, hope or wish will bring them back.. Nothing is eternal, and nothing is forever.. Perhaps you have gone ahead, perhaps a different path, but no matter what, I just want you to know what difference you have made in my life, no matter how insignificant it may seem to you.. and that, I thank you always for them..

People come and people go in everyone's lives.. and I don't mean it in a sense that living or dying.. Our lives can never stay at a single spot all the time.. Sooner or later it will move, and new people may come into our lives, and some may go out.. But it is those that went out, that I had regret because it wasn't life that moved itself, I moved it, and those that fell out, were the ones I had loved, and cared about the most..

Logging off,
Lawy3rz


-So I may be weak now, but I'll probably never show it.. and those who read up to here, and think its either a whole load of crap and bull, or, a call for self-pity and sympathy, keep those thoughts to yourself.. Its my blog, and my crap and ramblings, and I'll blog whatever I want to blog..