Another post without a thought..

This would definately qualify as a desperate post..a post kinda just to let out whatever i have in my thoughts, and pretty much meaningless.. just type type and type.. Anyway.. SPM SPM SPM is all thats freaking me out.. dammit, I'm gonna lose my sanity before it even arrives.. I may not be studyin that hard but the pressure is.. Today, I've decided, for once and for all will be the last time i'll touch any form of game until after SPM.. that includes dota, and FF7.. =p As for other things, other than IT work, i should not be at the com for more than 30 minutes in a day..

I'm gonna study till my head crack from tomorrow onwards.. Probably a bit last minute.. but a few initial marks came back and i'm definately not happy with them.. especially sej.. seriously bombed it this time.. previously was all 80 and above.. now.. shit.. anyway.. that won't happen again.. was so crappy..

I've got pretty much nothing else to post, so I thought I just write a short 'poem'.. This isn't, again, bout any nightelf.. but someone else I used to write about.. =) not in this blog though..

I held you close,
I kept you close,
And in returned I got wavered,
deceit and lies.

Laughed at, ridicule at,
A scandal beyond all means,
Another foolish mistake,
another time in my life.

But as I still had hope,
a faded light and fire,
as a storm came and end the last of it,
you came and told me your lasts.

The last it was,
no longer there was another time,
Probably laughter filled you,
Probably hatred filled you,
Probably annoyance filled you,
Probably anger filled you,
but the only thing that I felt,
was nothing.

Time passed, slow and fast,
Neither sound or sight came,
From you it was total darkness and total silence,
then came again one matter,
Perhaps it was another joke,
Perhaps you were bored,
Perhaps you just wanted to ridicule me again,
Perhaps you were sympathetic,
or Perhaps you were sincere,
I never knew which of it was true,
nor how much of it was true,
I followed my hearts instincts,
That told me nothing.

In the end, I knew nothing,
felt nothing, and am nothing,
but I learned a handful from you,
Yes, I learned, and learn I did..
and it is the most valuable lesson in my life,
that brought me back from my knees to my feet,
that made me who I am today,
that showed me how terrible I was,
that made me realize my mistakes,
that thought me, the ways of a better life,
and made memoirs of itself inside,
and the last word I would like to pass to you,
before we depart on our seperate paths for good,
is,
thank you..

Logging Off,
Lawy3rz