another days ramblings..

Blogging again today.. I actually finished all 8 of my moral essay, i dun believe I could actually write so much crap in my life.. Whew, next is the kerja kursus, i wanna finish tmr.. oh yeah.. damn.. tmr got tuition.. slightly dreading.. fcuk man.. I really got to start studying for my SPM.. Crap.. I've just got no will to study seriously hour after hour straight.. I reli wan to study..

U know, I've been thinking, I reli wan to take this blog off the net maybe for a few week or so.. why? I duno, its just that I've been feeling no better than shit lately, and I reli want some space to blog out my crap.. and those crap is Serious crap.. not the kind I want everyone I know to be reading it off the internet..

Finished Dan Brown's Deception point today.. whew.. took 2 days.. nize.. cuz of that, I quite neglected some work I need finished.. crap la, why muz hols be so short.. I'd preferred more longer holidays throughout the year than one long bunch of hols at the end of the year..

Eh, I apologize for the profanity.. Been much too influenced lately, and also of the mid year, im sure.. =p.. oh fcuk.. I dun even want to think of mid year... shit...

I'll be frank. I feel like shit. No better. Why? I don't know. Just feel the way I feel. I can't concentrate on anything I do these days. I can't sleep peacefully at night, i'd stay awake for hours staring at my ceiling.. When I close my eyes, I see an empty space in myself.. empty.. Emotional turmoil. Thats the closest I can pin to a word..Seriously bad emotional turmoil. There are times, I forget myself.. who the fcuk am I.. why on this piece of rock called earth.. I'm so doubtful of everything.. myself and the things around me.. I hoped I haven't lost my friends the way I lost myself.. Boon shern's really really pissed at me.. and he probably has the entire group with him..

That's enuf for today.. Honestly, my ramblings here today made me feel a little better, even if its just a bit.. I once chose to be alone, depend on no one, rely on no one.. I dropped that principle within me when.. when I really like Sylvan.. I should take it back up.. I just should..


-Lawy3rz
signing off.